The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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