Don't you send me to vm
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
