We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
