we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
