I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
