he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
