ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
