he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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