you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
