Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
false alarm. still invincible.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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