i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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