I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
