I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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