Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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