No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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