So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Holy shit dude........stairs
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
