You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
