Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
