and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
