I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
