Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
