I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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