Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
