i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
