Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
