Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
