i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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