you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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