YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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