Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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