Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
