He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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