he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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