dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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