I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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