Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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