Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
operation have a gay friend backfired
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
