Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
