drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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