What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
