weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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