hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
