She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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