PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
