ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love you. Go after that dick
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
