I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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