I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
