please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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