What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
