I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
