Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
