Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
